I see you apart from your sin

I come through the storm

And I come through the waves

I come through the hurricane

I break through the warriors swords

And I speak to my daughter

I speak to my princess

I whisper her name through the noise

And I say, I love you

I love you through your pain

I love you through your failures

I see you apart from your sin

I see you as perfect before me

And I say; you are my daughter

You are my loved one

I see you apart from your sin

Standing perfect and pure before me

I come through the storm

And I come through the waves

I come through the hurricane

I break through the warriors swords

I saw your cry for help

I saw the pain in your soul

I saw the helplessness you felt

The emptiness in who you are

So I’m coming to tell you

Who you are in me

I’m coming to show you

The gift that Jesus gave to you

You are my daughter, my princess

I see you as perfect before me

You are my loved one

And I see you apart from your sin

And I wonder

Here I am sitting on my bed, my computer on my lap, thinking. I am supposed to be studying, but I am distracted, because I am thinking. I am thinking about life, I am thinking about surrender, I am thinking about God. And I am wondering. I am wondering about school, I am wondering about the things I desire in life. I see God. I see His power, or parts of it anyways. I see the awesomeness that He is, and I wonder why? Why do I spend my time on school, when I could be with Him? Why do I look forward to gaining a degree, when I could be looking forward to heaven? Why do I spend so much time studying, so much time trying to go beyond, trying to excel academically, when I could be excelling spiritually? Why do I try so hard to gain the approval of man, to gain the acclaim of man, when I could be looking for God’s approval, for His smile? I don’t know, I just wonder.

I wonder about perspective, and I wonder how I can have the right one. What does God want my perspective to be? If I look at eternity, I look at eternity, really seriously eternity. That time that will go on forever and ever and ever and ever. It will never end, seriously it will NEVER end, its eternity. So if I look at eternity, I wonder, am I really living for eternity? I know that I say I am, but does my life reflect that? Are my values eternal? Because if they were, would I be doing school right now? I don’t know, I just wonder.

I wonder too, what God’s story is for me; I know that He has a perfect one. I know that He has it in control, but I wonder what it looks like. I like to think sometimes that it will be like this person, or that person, but I realize, His story is unique for me. Then I wonder can I miss out on it? Can I give in to less then what God has for me because I haven’t had the right perspective? Because I have chosen to study instead of spend time with Him? Because I have looked to gain to approval of man instead of His approval? Because I haven’t given everything that I have to pursue Him? Can I miss out on the best that He has for me because I have spent so much time pursing the good? I don’t know, I just wonder.

There is no turning back

Skipping along, singing joyfully running

Passion pursued

I choose a path

This is the way that I will take

Whistling softly

Merrily dancing on the way

Darkness overwhelming

The shadow of death

Threatening to overtake

Why did I choose this way

Why oh why

I do not understand

Darkness advancing

Fighting screaming struggling

Terror overwhelming

It is the valley

Of the shadow of death

The fear runs thick

The terror runs fast

But He said do not fear

I will be with you

My rod and my staff

They will comfort you

Remember my unending love

For it will give you strength

And I remember why

I decided to take this way

Many waters cannot quench love

Nor rivers run it dry

I am looking toward my Jesus

For He is my reward

I fight on with steadfast determination

I’m looking to my reward

This is the way I have chosen

And there is no turning back

It is too late to change my mind

Cause there is no turning back

There is no turning back

Martha and Mary

Serving, helping, giving

And all the work that goes along

Loving, caring, and entertaining

Pouring everything out

Giving everything for Jesus

Cleaning and preparing for Him

That’s the story of Martha

Her way of loving was service

She wanted everything to be perfect

She had a heart of a servant

She wanted Jesus to be pleased

So she could reach His heart

But she missed out on the best

Because she was so busy

Spending her time for Jesus

She forgot to be with Him

She saw only what needed done

And didn’t stop to listen

Isn’t that the way we live our lives

So busy with our work

We choose the way of Martha

Instead of being with Jesus

We choose even our ministry

Above just being with Him

But Mary chose the better way

She longed to be with Him

She left the work that needed done

And spent her time

On the floor,

By his feet,

Listening to His words,

And wonderfully,

She found His heart

Its so easy to forget

So easy, its so simple to forget, it so easy to get caught up in this tantalizing, haunting, counterfeit life. The discouraged cries, the people, the unproductive entertainment, all of the lies. It is so easy to get hopelessly lost. Lost in this maze that surrounds us. Its so effortless to lose focus, to allow our lens to get blurry. Focused short-term. Short-term, short-term, caught in the here and now, empty perfectionism, exact precision. Satisfaction in emptiness, hollow correctness, vacant exactness.  Choosing the barrenness in life’s entertainment, vain amusement, hopeless enjoyment. And we forget. We forget the truth.

Can we choose to look beyond? To fiercely fight the lies, the things we despise, the deception, the fake conception. Our lens, be cleansed. Our lens be cleansed. Cleansed from the cloudy fog that viscously, stubbornly, covers our eyes. That stick like the lies, till we realize, we have allowed our bloodshot eyes, to roam from the coveted prize. From the perfection that we can find in our Fathers flawlessness, his beauty of his exactness, compared to our own lawlessness. We choose the blindness, cause it excuses our utter faithlessness, our patent unfaithfulness.

Why not step into the light, and the wonderful power of his might, to allow the right, break through our lives. And see, and see, and see, that we, can be, transformed. conformed, reformed, into his image. If only we will not forget.

The Train

Clickety Clack

Clankety clank

The well beaten track

Onward the train beats

Onward still onward

The smell of sweaty bodies

Pressed up against each other

Crushed space, loud music

Onward the train beats

Onward still onward

Always pushing fuel

Into the tank

More fuel, more, more

Faster, faster, faster

Onward still onward

What is the destination

We do not know

Why are we going

No one knows

Onward still onward

Something driving inside

The emptiness, the lonliness

Pushing to go better, faster

More efficient, more economical

Clankety, clank, clank, clank

Faster, faster, faster

More, more, more

It has to get better than this

Pushing, pressing, trying

Clackety, clack, clack

Suddenly CRASH

Train cars rolling

Bodies crushed

Pain, screaming, terror

Lost souls, lost, so lost

We stand by and watch

We do not care

We allow the ruin

As if enjoying the pain

Approving the destruction

Our hears disattached

Watching the hurt

Nonchalantly looking away

Joining our own train

Onward still onward

Dancing in the Twilight

Dancing in the twilight,

As the start begin to shine

Resting in the beauty

Of the God who made it mine

Dancing in the softness

Of the perfection of it all

Dancing with my Jesus

In the beauty of His call

I feel your love surround me

I understand it deep inside

I know that I can trust you

Because you have never lied

I am so blinded in this world

I know I don’t see fully

But Jesus you are my anchor

To you I give myself wholly

Questions come unbidden

Conversation starts to flow

How do I serve you Jesus

What does it mean to follow

My child I ask for surrender

To follow me is to give it all

You must give up everything

To really follow my call

Dancing abruptly stops

As the words hit my heart

I know that I cannot give it all

I wouldn’t know where to start

What about my identity

The acceptance that I fight for

What about my life, my job

The goals I push so hard for

What about my friends

That I so desperately need

What about the things I love

That make my heart bleed

I cannot give up everything

No matter how much I try

I realize my humanity

And I drop my head and cry

It something I cannot do

Discouragement fills my being

I slowly walk away

From the only one I am needing

I realize I am not fit to be there

As tears roll down my face

I see my failures and inadequacies

And I sadly leave that perfect place

But Jesus calls after me

Don`t do this on your own

I have made a way for you

You are not alone

He takes me and holds me

In his wonderful embrace

He says He will never leave me

He will help me win this race

And I realize it is not impossible

With my Jesus holding me

He has given me empowerment

And opened my eyes to see

That giving up my everything

Cannot even begin to compare

To the glory of His presence

And the love he wants to share

Dancing in the twilight,

As the stars continue to shine

Resting in the beauty

Of the God who made it mine

Dancing in the softness

Of the perfection of it all

Dancing with my Jesus

In the beauty of His call