Sunday, July 31, 2011

Batter my heart!

This week for my English assignment I had to pick a poem and do a report on it. I picked the poem “Batter my heart” by John Donne. At first glance it didn’t look like much, but as I began to really study it, I began to get touched, and even powerfully impacted.  The poem goes like this.

Batter my heart, three personed God, for You
As yet but knock, breathe, shine, and seek to mend.
That I may rise and stand, o’erthrow me, and bend
Your force to break, blow, burn, and make me new.
I, like an usuped town to another due,
Labor to admit You, but Oh! To no end.
Reason, Your viceroy in me, me should defend,
But is captived, and proves weak or untrue.
Yet dearly I love You, and would be loved fain,
But am betrothed unto Your enemy;
Divorce me, untie or break that knot again;
Take me to You, imprison me, for I,
Except You enthral me, never shall be free,
Nor ever chaste, except You ravish me.

At first read it may seem a little hard to understand, but upon further study, this is a very powerful poem. Donne is begging the Lord of the universe to batter his heart, which means basically to beat repeatedly; he says that all God has done so far is gently knock, patiently waiting to get in, but Donne is saying that in order for him to be able to stand as a Christian, he needs God to break, blow and burn him. This was powerful to me because so many times I feel the same way. God is such a gentleman, but sometime I wish He would just force Himself into my life. I need that battering. My heart is so deceitful, desperately wicked, and keeps on turning to the things in this world. I long for God to just force Himself in.
            Donne then likens himself to a city that has been seized. He wants to allow God in, but he cannot. He knows that he should defend reason, but his reason has been taken captive. I am like that city. I have been taken captive, and feel completely helpless to allow God into my heart. There are so many places in my life where I feel like I cannot let Him in. Sin has overtaken my heart. But yet like Donne I cry, I dearly love God, and long to be loved in return!
            In the last section of the poem Donne uses the analogy of the bride of Christ. He says that he is engaged to the enemy. He knows that he cannot be free from that engagement unless God would set him free. He is crying out for God’s intervention to divorce him from that wrong relationship. I also so so need God to set me free from my relationship with this world. I feel helpless, I am tied to the world. I am desperate for the Lord, I need Him to imprison me. I need Him to hold my attention so that I cannot look to the things of this world.
            The last line of the poem is the most powerful! Donne says he will never be pure unless God would actually rape him. He is saying that he needs God to literally force Himself upon him before he can be completely free from this world. That too is what I need. I am so helpless, so sinful, that I need God to force Himself upon me. I don’t have it in me to choose Him, I always choose the world. Even though I long for Him with all my heart, my heart is deceitful, and causes me to choose that what I do not want.
            This poem has really shown me the desperation is inside of me for God, but also the utter weakness. I need God so so badly, but I need God to come to me. I am helpless to go to Him. I am crying out for Him to invade my life! I am so thankful that He is a loving God, and that He promised that He would give me the desire of my heart. I know that He will give me the desire that I want, but so many times am unable to fight for.

Saturday, July 23, 2011

The Oil

It’s the pain
Of today
Facing tomorrow
It’s the joy
Of yesterday
Piercing the sorrow

It’s the trying
To hide
For to be exposed
It’s the crying
Inside
Up to be supposed

Who says
Who says
A pattern for a way
Who’s got
Who’s got
A maybe to explain

The surrounded
In friends
Around to me compound
The emptiness
Side bends
Light present sound

The fortification
Up high
Inside to be
The olive within
Flow by
For my oil it to see

To be
To be
To run and hide
To see
To see
To live inside

Monday, July 11, 2011

The Pathway

It’s the garden pathway
Silent and tranquil
It’s the peaceful journey
So soft, so still
It’s the voyage of life
So long and unsure
It’s the journey to heaven
Noting to deter
It’s the trail God created
Implicitly unique
Each person their story
The passage they seek

Crash, it’s the thunder inside
So strong and so dark
Flash, the lighting outside
So bright and so stark
It’s the pain all around
So strong, so traumatic
It’s the destruction beside
So intense, so dramatic
I see the pain
The anger, the hurt
And I cry, I weep
The beauty turned dirt

God’s perfect plan marred
Destroyed by our sin
The beautiful path blackened
By the devastation within
But God’s path is still there
Clear through the grime
He had created it improved
From before the crime
Because now he can display
His wonderful glory
The power of His love
The joy of His story

Why can we not see
Are our eyes so blind?
Why will we not look
At his love so kind
We see the destruction
The ripping the tearing
But we fail to understand
His love so searing
Let’s look at the pathway
So serene and tranquil
Let us look at our Saviour
And in the storm be still

Monday, July 4, 2011

The Desert

Dust swirling soft and light
Little eddies round my feet
One footfall after the next
Slowly moving through the heat

The heat is so thick and strong
Like a wall surrounding me
The sweat is dripping into my eyes
Blinding me so I cannot see

One more step, I say to myself
Just one more, one more, one more
Its never enough, never there
Where are my wings to soar?

I'm dripping, and drooping
My footsteps are slower
My stamina is fading
My heart is slipping lower

But then I remember
The hope for which I came
That hope can be strong
Even when my feet are lame

Deliberately I make a choice
I decide to face my eyes
On that future day
I'm looking for my prize

I'm still in the desert
It still is hard and hot
But I know in my heart
That He will forget me not

I desperately cling to  hope
And I believe that it will give
To me that little spark
The grace to fight to live

One more step, I say to myself
Just one more, one more, one more
Its just enough, cause I know one day
I will find my wings to soar

Thursday, June 30, 2011

Time

I am caught
Caught in a circle
A circle of time
Life goes round
Never enough time
Caught in the rat race of life
Caught in the busy schedule
I remember a time
When I said to myself
I never want to run out of time

Time to love
Time to live
Time to see
Time to give
And time to just be

I am lost
Lost to who I am
Lost to time
I am stressed
Never enough time
Lost to giving to those I love
Lost to knowing who I am
I know there will be a time
When I can find myself
But for now, I don't have time

Time to love
Time to live
Time to see
Time to give
And time to just be

I feel guilt
Guilt with people
Guilt with time
I am shamed
Never enough time
Guilty for not being able
To be with those I love
Someday I will have time
To show them that I care
But now is just not the time

I need to put my life on hold!
Stop.
Stop.
Everything.
And wait.
Wait.
Cause I need to hear You
I want to do only that
Which You are calling me to do

Cause then I will have time

Time to love
Time to live
Time to see
Time to give
And time to just be

Monday, April 11, 2011

It's a story

Its a story. This life. That's all it is. A story. Its a love story. Can we see it? Can we believe it? A love story between God and His children. We see the pain. We see the anger and the hatred. We see the sin. We see where man has gone wrong. We see where Satan has messed up the perfection. But do we see the story? That is what its all about. The story. Its a love story. An intense love story. One that goes far beyond the brutality of this world. It seems cliché, but its true. Life is a story. And God's love is the center. The center. The very center. But not only the center. It fills every other part as well. Because that is the story. Love. It is an overwhelming, overpowering, impossible love. But that is the story. We see the impossible pain in this world, and we say, how can that be the story. We see the intense evil, and we conclude, that can't be love. But we don't see the full story. We don't see the message underlying it all. We don't see the love. But we just need our eyes to be opened. We need to see. Because there is the power of the story. And once we have seen. Once we have seen. It is NEVER the same again. NEVER the same. This world is trivial. The pain is shallow. I'm not undermining pain, but it is so shallow compared to the love. Because love is the story. And love goes deeper than the deepest pain. Love was before pain is. LOVE created this world, and LOVE will finish this world. We CAN walk through the valley of the shadow of death because of the LOVE. Because the LOVE is deeper than death. Its the story. It is all about the story. We can face death, but what will we see. Beyond the death, beyond the pain, beyond the anger, the self-hatred, the sadness, the rejection, the loneliness, the depression. Is the story. Lets get caught up in the story. Forget about this trivial world. Lets go deep. Go beyond. Lets find the story, and ruin our lives. Ruin our lives for this world. Ruin our lives for what this world says is valuable. Because we have found the story. And our lives are changed. Changed. Completely. Forever. Changed. Because of LOVE!  

Friday, April 8, 2011

You have a story

Oh God, you have a story for me
You have a story
You have a story
Oh Father, you have a plan for me
You have a plan
You have a plan

I know I don't always see
I don't always see the truth (see the truth)
I know I don't always understand
I don't always understand you (understand you)
But I believe, I believe

I only see this world
My eyes are so blinded (so blinded)
I only see my own life
I am so self-centered (so self-centered)
But I know, I know

Oh God, you have a story for me
You have a story
You have a story
Oh Father, you have a plan for me
You have a plan,
You have a plan

So please break through these walls
These walls that cut you out (cut you out)
Please cut through to my heart
My heart that longs for you (longs for you)
'Cause I'm hungry, I'm hungry

My heart is crying out
Crying out to you (out to you)
My heart is bleeding without life
'Cause I know that I need you (I need you)
So please fill me, fill me

Oh God, you have a story for me
You have a story
You have a story
Oh Father, you have a plan for me
You have a plan,
You have a plan