God, I don't understand

God, there is something inside

That says I cannot believe
In whom I think you are
In the truths that I perceive
 
There disillusionment with you
In the faith that I profess
Because of the pain I see
And somehow dare to confess
 
I’m angry with this world
And the unfairness that I see
There is confusion swirled
In whom I want you to be
 
Why do you leave your children
In darkness and despair
No matter how they pray
They seem to grasp at air
 
Why do you leave your created
Those who don’t believe in Christ
To an eternity in hell
With an unending Geist
 
I don’t understand your love
And how you say you care
When you reject you own
I don’t know how you dare
 
I’m angry with you God
And I barely dare to say
Because you have power
You always have your way
 
I know you are God
And who am I but man
I know I don’t understand
That somehow you have a plan?
 
I don’t see the whole picture
And thus I am angry
I only look at the injustice
And the pain I see so clearly
 
I know there is more to the story
Simply because there has to be
And so I choose to trust
Even though I cannot see
 
I trust in a God I do not know
A God I cannot perceive
I place myself in emptiness
A vulnerability to achieve
 
You may reject or hurt me
I truly do not know
If I go off of what I see
That’s what records show
 
So trust it is, but shaky too
But it’s all I have to show
From a lifetime of living
The path that Christians know

I see your face

I see your face

Every day on the street

I know who you are

But never do we meet

 

You are a foreigner to me

With circumstances so strange

I wouldn’t know how to relate

Settings would have to change

 

Then one God-ordained day

My path merges into yours

I get to see you who you are

And live the life that’s yours

 

We spend time together

I get to see your dreams

I know your hopes and plans

And the way that life seems

 

But then the truth comes out

Our paths have to divide

I must go to my house

In my security abide

 

I leave you in the place

The place that you call home

I go to my sterile house

And I leave you all alone

 

Alone in the pain

The confusion and the striving

I leave you in that place

Alone in all your fighting

 

I want to reach out

To help you in some way

But I’m stuck in my life

The responsibilities of today

 

I will pray for you

As well as I know how

I will love you too

I know God is in you now

 

So I say goodbye

Goodbye to you today

I pray your life gets better

And you find God on the way

The Path of Victory

It’s the path of victory

This path that I’m on

It’s the inevitable result

Because of God’s Son

I know the battle is fierce

I know the pain is tough

But I know the result

I will end up in His love

It’s the path of victory

This lonely road I walk upon

But the warrior’s heart

Gives me a constant song

I don’t see the result

I don’t understand this way

But I know the end

Will be a glorious day

So I face the loneliness

The confusion and sadness

With a bounce in my step

The future in my gladness

I know it’s the path of victory

Although I do not see the end

I know it’s the right path

Because He is my Friend

It’s the path of victory

This path I walk upon

I’m looking to the day

The brightness of my Dawn

The Fathers Heart

Jesus asks me, "Jaclyn, do you want to go deeper?" I say yes and he takes me into the fathers heart. I don't know how else to explain it, but it was a huge heart, and it was beating. Kinda like in the magic school bus. So I'm in his heart, and suddenly I feel his love for his children, its like there is a different revelations of his heart every step I take, every place I touch and this heart is so huge I know that it would take all of eternity just to begin to explore the depths of His heart! In his heart is his unbelievable love for his children, as I run my fingers along the sides, I start to see faces, the faces of many different people from many different cultures, and I realize that each one of these individuals are the only one that can bring joy to that part of the fathers heart. Some of the pictures are filled with joy and some with such extreme sadness I want to cry. It makes me long to bring the love of Jesus to these people, so I can gladden the heart of God. And then in another place in his heart are scars, a whole bunch of scars, and I realize that those are the people who rejected him, who spit in his face and mocked him and mocked the gift of his Son, and I see the price that father had to pay for love. It makes me want to weep. Then Jesus comes in and holds me in his arms, Jesus wants to take me away. I guess to protect me from the pain, but I want to stay, I want to know the Fathers heart, I don't want to run in the face of pain. I want to know my Father better, so I can love Him better. I ask Jesus if its ok that I stay, and he says "yes". I sit down, I don't even know why, but I just want to stay. I know that I'm not touching his pain at all, so I just sit and wait. Then I see a picture of a little girl, her back is turned to the father, and she is walking away. I feel the pain in that picture, and I long to call her, to draw her, to bring her back. But I cannot, I cannot reach her, she fades from view. I sit back down to wait. Jesus comes to sit beside me. I wait, I wait. Then I decide to sing a song. I stand up and start to sing. I can see the words and music come out of my mouth and I see it touch the scarred places in Father's heart, and where the words touched them, they started to get healed, to come to life. I realized that this place in Jesus heart is my sphere of influence, that I can bring healing by my joy. That every person I come into contact with is in Fathers heart, and by touching them I can touch my father.