Numb

My heart is frozen

As if numbed with anesthetic

My emotions are dazed

Like my whole body is sick

So much confusion

So much pain

I don’t know how to function

Or how to stay sane

Alternating with numbness

Emotions galore

Fighting and jostling

Each one wanting the floor

Don’t know how I feel

Or what’s happening inside

Just know that I’m broken

Someplace I cannot hide

I don’t know how to feel

One moment I’m completely numb

Not feeling anything at all

The next, to emotions I succumb

I hate all this pain

I despise what I’ve had to do

I just want to be free

To love like I want to

Can’t I find love for me?

Why do I just have to give

And then when I finally get back

I am required to leave?

It doesn’t make sense

This stupid confusing world

It is simply not fair

Complaints and accusations hurled

I try so hard to do right

But it seems completely wrong

My heart ends up shattered

And still I don’t belong

I don’t have anything left to give

I feel broken beyond repair

I’ll put one foot in front of the other

Trying to pretend to care

I pray one day to see

The hope beyond that pain

I believe one day will be

A joy beyond the insane