The Fathers Heart

Jesus asks me, "Jaclyn, do you want to go deeper?" I say yes and he takes me into the fathers heart. I don't know how else to explain it, but it was a huge heart, and it was beating. Kinda like in the magic school bus. So I'm in his heart, and suddenly I feel his love for his children, its like there is a different revelations of his heart every step I take, every place I touch and this heart is so huge I know that it would take all of eternity just to begin to explore the depths of His heart! In his heart is his unbelievable love for his children, as I run my fingers along the sides, I start to see faces, the faces of many different people from many different cultures, and I realize that each one of these individuals are the only one that can bring joy to that part of the fathers heart. Some of the pictures are filled with joy and some with such extreme sadness I want to cry. It makes me long to bring the love of Jesus to these people, so I can gladden the heart of God. And then in another place in his heart are scars, a whole bunch of scars, and I realize that those are the people who rejected him, who spit in his face and mocked him and mocked the gift of his Son, and I see the price that father had to pay for love. It makes me want to weep. Then Jesus comes in and holds me in his arms, Jesus wants to take me away. I guess to protect me from the pain, but I want to stay, I want to know the Fathers heart, I don't want to run in the face of pain. I want to know my Father better, so I can love Him better. I ask Jesus if its ok that I stay, and he says "yes". I sit down, I don't even know why, but I just want to stay. I know that I'm not touching his pain at all, so I just sit and wait. Then I see a picture of a little girl, her back is turned to the father, and she is walking away. I feel the pain in that picture, and I long to call her, to draw her, to bring her back. But I cannot, I cannot reach her, she fades from view. I sit back down to wait. Jesus comes to sit beside me. I wait, I wait. Then I decide to sing a song. I stand up and start to sing. I can see the words and music come out of my mouth and I see it touch the scarred places in Father's heart, and where the words touched them, they started to get healed, to come to life. I realized that this place in Jesus heart is my sphere of influence, that I can bring healing by my joy. That every person I come into contact with is in Fathers heart, and by touching them I can touch my father.

Reality?

She walks through reality

Of what she sees as life

All she knows is pain

She’s surrounded by strife

She tried to escape

But there was no way

Reality was too strong

And it truly made her pay

Suicide was not a success

All it earned was extra pain

A discouragement profound

And simply more shame

But then she met love

A power so strong and deep

She met the Lord her God

A love that made her weep

But now she is in a mess

She doesn’t know how

To truly absorb that love

And still live in the now

Two realities fighting

In the depth of who she is

She knows what she sees

And wonders how it’s His

Two realities are pulling

At the core of who she is

Can she let go of what she sees

To the truth of what He says

Finally she purposefully lets go

Of all that experience screams

She steps into the unknown

Into His true place of dreams

Is she going crazy?

She truly doesn’t know

She really doesn’t care

His reality has to show

So she cries as she waits

In the place of the unknown

She waits for her lover

So silent and alone

Faith

            I’ve been wrestling with the concept of faith for the last couple of weeks. I don’t think I understand it, it is such a deep subject, but there are some thoughts that I have had. I figured I would write them out.

I guess I will start with Luke 17:5. The disciples see their lack of faith, and cry out to God “Increase our faith!”, Jesus’ response is a little strange. He doesn’t give them a “yes” or a “no”, or something they can do. He basically tells them that they don’t need more faith. He says “If you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mulberry tree, ‘be uprooted and planted in the sea,’ and it will obey you”. A mustard seed is very small, so it would seem that it’s not about the amount of faith. It is not more faith that they need, but something else.

I started looking to the following verses to find what that “something else” could be. Vs 7-10 states “Suppose one of you had a servant plowing or looking after the sheep. Would he say to the servant when he comes in from the field, ‘Come along now and sit down to eat’? Would he not rather say, ‘prepare my supper, get yourself ready and wait on me while I eat and drink; after that you may eat and drink’? Would he thank the servant because he did what he was told to do? So you also, when you have done everything you were told to do, should say, ‘We are unworthy servants; we have only done our duty.” This section of scripture has always puzzled me. I thought it was referring to us as God’s servants, specifically because of the last verse. But I began to think about it in another way. What if the servant is creation, and we are the Master? That we have authority over creation and it must obey us. The miraculous then should not be shocking, it should be expected, like a servant simply doing his duty. It seemed like somewhat of a radical thought, but I decided to search it out more.

First I came to Psalm 8:4-8 “What is man that you are mindful of him, the son of man that you care for him? You made him a little lower than the heavenly beings and crowned him with glory and honor. You made him ruler over the works of your hands; you put everything under his feet: all flocks and herds, and the beasts of the field, the birds of the air, and the fish of the sea, all that swim the paths of the seas.” This verse basically states that God has given us authority over all of creation. God has made us the master, creation is the servant.

I still wanted more, especially in regards to authority, so I looked up Luke 7 where Jesus was going to the centurion to pray for his servant. “He was not far from the house when the centurion sent friends to say to him: ‘Lord, don’t trouble yourself, for I do not deserve to have you come under my roof. That is why I did not even consider myself worthy to come to you. But say the word, and my servant will be healed. For I myself am a man under authority, with soldiers under me. I tell this one, ‘Go,’ and he goes; and that one, ‘Come’, and he comes. I say to this servant, ‘Do this,’ and he does it.’ When Jesus heard this, he was amazed at him, and turning to the crowd following him, he said, ‘I tell you, I have not found such great faith even in Israel.’ Then the men who had been sent returned to the house and found the servant well.” Vs 6-10. Why did Jesus say that the centurion had such great faith? It was because he understood authority. He knew that all it took was one word from someone who had authority, and he knew that Jesus had the authority. I find it interesting that in the first passage when the disciples asked Jesus to increase their faith, he also talked to them about authority.

What is it about authority that we do not understand? The centurion knew that Jesus had authority, and that’s where his faith came from. Do we need to know that we have authority? Jesus says in Luke 10:18 “I saw Satan fall like lightning from heaven. I have given you authority to trample on snakes and scorpions and to overcome all the power of the enemy; nothing will harm you.” Is our problem not necessarily that we need more faith, but we need to use the faith that we do have; we need to see and understand the authority that Jesus has already given us?

Or to put another spin on it, what about the fact that Jesus is in us? John 14:20 “On that day (when Holy Spirit comes) you will realize that I am in my Father, and you are in me, and I am in you”. So, if Jesus is in us, would that not mean that all the authority that he has would be inside of us as well? Maybe it’s not even realizing our own authority, but realizing His authority, and the power of that authority inside of us.

So could it be that faith for the miraculous is not so much about trying harder to “believe” in something, but simply understanding our authority. It is understanding “his incomparably great power for us who believe” Ephesians 1:19; knowing that we already believe in his ability to do it, we now need to believe in our ability to walk in it.

Fire Walk

I walk down the path

The path of pain, the path of fire

And I really wonder why

These flames keep getting higher

The pain is so intense, so raw

It scalds my entire being

Deeper and deeper it burns

These flames are seething

I run and I try to hide

I scream and I wretchedly cry

I fight and violently shake

I really don’t understand the why

Is this what love looks like

Is that what I’m called to

Is this the pain of what it is

And all that it has to do

Jesus I’m looking to you

You are the perfect picture

In love you gave everything

In devotion you were sure

Your love goes far deeper

Than any pain I can see

Your love is far greater

I know it covers me

The flames are subsiding

I’m finally seeing your grace

My selfishness is gone

With only ashes in its place

I pick up those ashes

And in brokenness I turn

I give this gift to you

It’s the love I had to learn

I have nothing else

Nothing left to give

But my undying love

And the ashes on my grave

Focus on what you have.

We live in a world of great excess. We have so much that we do not need. My question is, what do we focus on? How much do we focus on what we want rather than what we have? How much of our lives are run by “more, more, more”? I was sitting one day thinking, and I believe God downloaded something into my heart. That was the verse, “He who has will be given more, and he who does not have, even what he has will be taken away from him.” I wondered about that verse, and decided to look it up. It actually occurs five times in the New Testament in three different contexts. It’s not just something that Jesus stated once. It is something that he used frequently in his teachings. So why? What is the significance of it? Why was it so important to Jesus?

I was pondering this for a time, and believe I got a revelation on it. It is about what we focus on! Are we focusing on what we have, or on that which we do not have? If we are focusing on that which we have, the gifts God has given us, we will use them, and in the using we are given more. But if we are only spending our time looking at those things in which we lack in our lives, the things where we don’t have, we forget to focus on those gifts he has given us, and in so doing they are taken away.

Let me explain it this way. If I have a friend who is deeply struggling with something, I can look at her situation and say “I just don’t know what to do”, and in that helplessness I do nothing. Or I can look at her situation and say “There are some things that I can do”. I focus on that which I can do, even if it looks like it is something really small, and in so doing, I am given more that I can do. I can make a greater impact then I even imagined. It’s not in the big things that we do in life; it is about those little things. So if we focus on those little things that we can do, and do them, the big things will be accomplished. If we focus on our lack, we will not do those little things, and the big things never come to pass. Don’t look at a situation and think it is too big; look at a situation and think “What is there that I CAN do in this situation”, and then go and do that!

This principle applies to many areas of our lives, not just in situations. What about our relationship with God? I have always struggled with looking at that which I do not have. I always want more. But what if I looked at those things that I do have; those things that God has blessed me with, and was thankful for them? I started making an effort to do that, and the result has been astounding! First of all, I feel thankful because God has given me so incredibly much, and secondly, God has been pouring himself out more and more into me as I give that thanksgiving. He truly is giving me more, as I’m looking at that which I do have.

I have found this to be a powerful principle in my life, and I wanted to share it to inspire you as well! Focus on what you have, God WILL give you more. Focus on what you can do, that is what builds your faith! Don’t focus on your lack, that kills faith.  

I want to see you

God I want to see you

In the life that I live

I long to feel your touch

In what you have to give

But I’m afraid there are times

When my vision is not so clear

I do not see you moving

And I give in to fear

I see the loss in this life

I see the rejection and the pain

I don’t understand

What is there to gain?

But I need to remember

It’s not about here and now

I’m living for eternity

For my future somehow

God I look to you

Even when I do not see

I surrender all to you,

The things that I want to be

I pray that you show me

Yourself in the place

I need to have your touch

Oh Daddy, I need your grace

Thank you that you are here

Even when I do not feel you

Even if it doesn’t seem like it

I know your promises are true

This World Has Nothing for Me

This world has nothing for me

I’m learning to let go

This world is full of sorrow

More than one can know

This world has nothing for me

All I see is pain

This world with all its pleasures

I see nothing for me to gain

I’m chasing after Jesus

Cause he truly is my all

I’m leaving all behind

To simply follow my call

I don’t know what it looks like

Or how to decipher this world

But I’m following my Jesus

On Him my burdens hurled

I choose to look to heaven

Where worship will abound

I’m looking to my future

I’m not looking around

Cause this world has nothing for me

But broken dreams and thoughts

I’m fighting for my Jesus

Because for me he has fought

I give my passion to Him

With everything that I got

I feel I have nothing in me

But I give as I’ve been taught

This world has nothing for me

I’ve decided to let it go

There is nothing to be desired

So into His Kingdom I will sow