One life to live

Going on in life

Faster and faster I fly

Roads are slippery

Today I may die

But thinking about it not

Confidence fills my being

Peace from the storm outside

It is God I am seeing

Time flies by,

Like a runaway train

I am going on for the ride

Hanging on, just barely sane

I'm acknowledging you

But are you first in my days

Life just goes so fast

Covered in a haze

Then ice, covering my path

Suddenly my direction altered

My confidence changed

Suddenly faltered

Slipping sliding, out of control

Nothing I can do

Life turned sideways

I'm crying out to You!

Smashing, crashing, eyes squeezed shut

Completely helpless, but in your hands

Even now you are holding me

Though I don't always understand

You are my protection

When I don't understand my life

You have a story for me

Though I am wrought with strife

You put a stop to my journey

I don't know why, nor understand

But I trust in your purpose

As I trudge though this land

Thank you for your protection

From this world around me

You took my headlong rushing

And suddenly stopped my journey

You are leading me now

I choose to trust in you

You are holding my hand

In all that I go through

Life suddenly stopped

I see you face to face

I need to acknowledge you

And slow this terrible pace

One life to live

One chance to drive

What direction will I take

How will I live my life

Love is all I have for you

Time ticks

To the strike of the clock

Heart beats

Not just empty talk

Truth lies

Searching through the time

Love lost

Or was it ever mine

Upside down

To the opposite sphere

Inside out

Maliciously torn from here

Who knows where

My heart has gone today

Time spent here

Keeping me away

‘Cause you know the story

The story of my life

You know the pain

The pain I try to hide

You know the tears

The tears from my eyes

You know love

‘Cause love is all I have for you

Life ticks

Am I losing my time

Wind blows

I have missed my line

Love passes

My time is fading

Heart cries

Is for the hating

I go on

Life doesn’t remain

Sadly drawn

Moving through the pain

Crying life

No one else to see

Run to you

You are holding me

‘Cause you know the story

The story of my life

You know the pain

The pain I try to hide

You know the tears

The tears from my eyes

You know love

‘Cause love is all I have for you

Alone

As I walk on in life
Big plans, marvelous dreams
As I accomplish much in my life
Huge visions, wonderful accomplishments
As I move forward in life
Make a way, make a difference
I realize suddenly that I'm alone

Alone, alone, so alone
Its hard to be different
To stand against the flow
Alone, alone, so alone
Its hard to stand up,
And run for what I believe in

As I follow my Jesus
Eyes hopeful, heart expectant
As I follow His example
Pouring out, giving away
As I run after my passion
Lives touched, people changed
I realize sadly that I'm alone

Alone, alone, so alone
Its hard to be different
To stand against the flow
Alone, alone, so alone
Its hard to stand up,
And run for what I believe in

As I throw off everything
Eye's focused, heart intent
As I look to my Jesus
Loving me, holding me
As I finally see the truth
Warm embrace, loving touch
I realize suddenly that I'm not alone

I'm a child of the King
Its ok to be different
To stand against the flow
I'm a child of the King
Its a gift to stand up
And run for what I believe in

Cuase I'm a child of the King
Its ok to be different

Jaclyn Van Hierden
Nov 22, 2009

I want for you to have me

Why am I so stuck in this world?

Why do I love it so much?

Empty promises swirled

I hate it, I hate it!

Angry words hurled

But still it captures me!

And it hangs on so tight

And I can’t be free!

I can’t be free from it all

I fight so hard, but it has me

God!!! I want you to have me!

I want to live for you!

My life for you to be

I want to give you my heart!

I want for you to have me!

Jesus, you are so beautiful

You are so clean and pure

So wonderfully whole

And I want to give you my heart

But sin has taken its toll

I am dirty, contaminated

I am messed up by this world

I am unclean and hated

How could you ever receive me?

Your perfection would be tainted

How could you receive me?

I am anger personified

How could you love me?

I am selfish, truly nothing

God, I’m nothing, can’t you see

I am in heavy shackles

And I can’t get free

I am stuck in these manacles

I truly cannot get free

From these prison walls

God I cry out to you

I cry out

I cry out

I cry for you to set me free

My daddy, I cry out to you

I want for you to have me

I know I don’t deserve it

I don’t know why you want me

Why you would look upon me

Cause I am covered in my feces

My own vomit is all I see

My own messed up life

This weakness inside of me

But I know that I need you

I need you

I need you

God I long for you

I know I have believed the lies

But my heart desires you

I am stuck in that deception

But I truly cry out to you

I am longing to be free

I am longing to see you

To really truly see

And to know the truth

I am longing to be free

God!!! I want you to have me!

I want to live for you!

My life for you to be

I want to give you my heart!

I want for you to have me!

Outside Looking In

Open eyes to the beauty

Love in completeness

Looking at the glory

Joy in to righteousness

Tight knit to the family

Laughter in the crazily

Outside looking in

Looking with the longing

Caring beyond the trust

Daring to the glory

Believing in the must

Lonely to the pain

Fruitless to the gain

The outside looking in

As I’m on the outside

The outside

Anger to the pain

I’m on the outside

The outside

Hopeless to the gain

The outside looking in

Rejection in the loneliness

Sadness to the pain

Running within the ache

Useless to the gain

Hurting in the guarantee

God to me will be

Personified outside in

Cause it is outside

The outside

Anger to the pain

I’m on the outside

The outside

Hopeless to the gain

The outside looking in

Existence to the alongside

Moving on the feeling

Jesus on the inside

Presence to the being

Filling the identity

Claiming in personality

Inside looking out

Inside looking out

The inside

Joy to the pain

He’s on the inside

The inside

Hopeful to the gain

The inside looking out

Stained Glass Windows

Stained Glass Windows

Over my soul

They look so good

So pretty, so full

I am a Christian

I love Jesus, they state

But conveniently they hide

All the anger, the hate

Stained Glass Windows

Such a contradiction

Looking so pretty

Hiding what is within

Covering the frustration

The doubts, the fears

Hiding the disappointment

The sadness, the tears

Stained Glass Windows

Keeping me inside

I cannot look outward

I’m willing to hide

Hide from the people

The pain that I see

Running from others

It’s all about me

Smash Those Windows

Destroy and obliterate

This selfishness inside

Show the world my state

I am so not perfect

I have to scream

I am really messed up

Things are not as they seem

Replace Those Windows

With clear glass panes

Allow others in my heart

To understand my pains

I will begin to look out

Get rid of this selfishness

Live a transparent life

And heal all this loneliness

Stained Glass Windows

Such a contradiction

Looking so pretty

Hiding what’s within

Stained Glass Windows

No longer control

Their lies are gone

From over my soul

Acid rain? or tears.

Drip

Falling, falling, falling

Faster, faster, faster

Closer, closer coming

Until suddenly splash

Flat silky waters resounding

Ripples

Emerging, Spreading,

Ever widening circles

Growing, Expanding

Breaking the perfect stillness

With impeccable timing

Pain,

Gripping as the ripples flow

Initially so intense,

But fading as the circles grow

Till only a diminishing memory

That one will ever know

Drip, drip, drip

More drops, falling faster

Breaking the apathetic stillness

This face of plaster

Drop, drop, drop

This rain is the master

Throbbing

More pain, gripping intensely

Transfixing, A red hot fire!

Burning so profoundly

Drip, drop, drip

Coming, overwhelmingly

Question

What is happening

What are these incessant drips

That down come flinging

Could it be tears and pain?

Or is it acid raining

Father

Is this an expression

Of my own acid rain

The hurt of my volition

The running I have done

The emptiness of my position

My child

These are the tears of my pain

For the lostness of this world

Your longing for earthly gain

I gently ask you to join me

It is an honor to share my pain.

Daddy

I’m sorry for my tendency to complain

I know You died for me

I want to join your pain

Though I feel it will kill me

Today I receive your rain