Saturday, December 25, 2010

Its so easy to forget

So easy, its so simple to forget, it so easy to get caught up in this tantalizing, haunting, counterfeit life. The discouraged cries, the people, the unproductive entertainment, all of the lies. It is so easy to get hopelessly lost. Lost in this maze that surrounds us. Its so effortless to lose focus, to allow our lens to get blurry. Focused short-term. Short-term, short-term, caught in the here and now, empty perfectionism, exact precision. Satisfaction in emptiness, hollow correctness, vacant exactness.  Choosing the barrenness in life’s entertainment, vain amusement, hopeless enjoyment. And we forget. We forget the truth.
Can we choose to look beyond? To fiercely fight the lies, the things we despise, the deception, the fake conception. Our lens, be cleansed. Our lens be cleansed. Cleansed from the cloudy fog that viscously, stubbornly, covers our eyes. That stick like the lies, till we realize, we have allowed our bloodshot eyes, to roam from the coveted prize. From the perfection that we can find in our Fathers flawlessness, his beauty of his exactness, compared to our own lawlessness. We choose the blindness, cause it excuses our utter faithlessness, our patent unfaithfulness.
Why not step into the light, and the wonderful power of his might, to allow the right, break through our lives. And see, and see, and see, that we, can be, transformed. conformed, reformed, into his image. If only we will not forget.

Friday, December 24, 2010

The Train

Clickety Clack
Clankety clank
The well beaten track
Onward the train beats
Onward still onward

The smell of sweaty bodies
Pressed up against each other
Crushed space, loud music
Onward the train beats
Onward still onward

Always pushing fuel
Into the tank
More fuel, more, more
Faster, faster, faster
Onward still onward

What is the destination
We do not know
Why are we going
No one knows
Onward still onward

Something driving inside
The emptiness, the lonliness
Pushing to go better, faster
More efficient, more economical
Clankety, clank, clank, clank

Faster, faster, faster
More, more, more
It has to get better than this
Pushing, pressing, trying
Clackety, clack, clack

Suddenly CRASH
Train cars rolling
Bodies crushed
Pain, screaming, terror
Lost souls, lost, so lost

We stand by and watch
We do not care
We allow the ruin
As if enjoying the pain
Approving the destruction

Our hears disattached
Watching the hurt
Nonchalantly looking away
Joining our own train
Onward still onward

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Dancing in the Twilight

Dancing in the twilight,
As the start begin to shine
Resting in the beauty
Of the God who made it mine
Dancing in the softness
Of the perfection of it all
Dancing with my Jesus
In the beauty of His call

I feel your love surround me
I understand it deep inside
I know that I can trust you
Because you have never lied
I am so blinded in this world
I know I don’t see fully
But Jesus you are my anchor
To you I give myself wholly

Questions come unbidden
Conversation starts to flow
How do I serve you Jesus
What does it mean to follow
My child I ask for surrender
To follow me is to give it all
You must give up everything
To really follow my call

Dancing abruptly stops
As the words hit my heart
I know that I cannot give it all
I wouldn’t know where to start
What about my identity
The acceptance that I fight for
What about my life, my job
The goals I push so hard for

What about my friends
That I so desperately need
What about the things I love
That make my heart bleed
I cannot give up everything
No matter how much I try
I realize my humanity
And I drop my head and cry

It something I cannot do
Discouragement fills my being
I slowly walk away
From the only one I am needing
I realize I am not fit to be there
As tears roll down my face
I see my failures and inadequacies
And I sadly leave that perfect place

But Jesus calls after me
Don`t do this on your own
I have made a way for you
You are not alone
He takes me and holds me
In his wonderful embrace
He says He will never leave me
He will help me win this race

And I realize it is not impossible
With my Jesus holding me
He has given me empowerment
And opened my eyes to see
That giving up my everything
Cannot even begin to compare
To the glory of His presence
And the love he wants to share

Dancing in the twilight,
As the stars continue to shine
Resting in the beauty
Of the God who made it mine
Dancing in the softness
Of the perfection of it all
Dancing with my Jesus
In the beauty of His call

Sunday, December 19, 2010

Crossroads

Every day is a crossroads
And time will tell
How the choices are made
Will express themselves

Pain is real
And so is joy
Life is rough
To the end

Every day is a crossroads
And only time will tell
What choice made today
Will bring forth tomorrow

Today is here
Tomorrow is not
Choices are made
Time will tell

Everyday is a crossroads
Every moment a choice
What path will be taken
What steps be made

Focus is short
Lens made blurry
Here is clear
Tomorrow is not

Every day is a crossroads
What path to take
The highway is there
The narrow road hard

People seem happy
From the outside
Hiding the pain
In the inside

Every day is a crossroads
A choice to be made
Life is a decision
Stand strong on truth

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Take up your cross

Jesus said,
You must deny yourself
Take up your cross daily
And lose your own life
If you want to live for me

And I said
Ok, I will follow
I will give up my all
That makes sense to me
I will obey your call

Then Jesus said
I don’t just want the outside
I want your whole being
I’m asking for your heart
I am asking for everything

And I responded
Jesus, you can have it all
But just not this one thing
Can I still hold on to it
I can’t quite give everything

And Jesus said
It you want to follow me
You cannot live in compromise
I am asking for it all
One thing can be your demise

And my heart cried
I cannot give this up
I can’t take the pain inside
This is like dying
I just want to hide

Jesus softly answered
I know my precious child
I asked you to take up your cross
To take it where I lead you
And count it all as loss

And finally I screamed
Ok God I surrender
To you I give it all
Kill me, kill my flesh
I need to follow your call
I am dying, and it hurts
I don’t like this pain at all
But I will lose my life
I have to follow your call

And Jesus cried
The tears fell down his face
He came and hugged me tight
My child I feel your pain
I too have faced a fight
But I have a promise for you
On which you can depend
Whoever loses their life
Will save it in the end

Sunday, December 12, 2010

I wonder how long

Snow falling, lazy and slow
Perfect flakes in the fading twilight
I dance, under the perfection of it all
Under the beauty of God’s wonderful touch
And I wonder how long

Darkness bleak and black
So thick I cannot see
I cry, under the weight of it all
Under the horror of Satan’s grasp
And I wonder how long

Two worlds, fighting within
I know who I am
I know where I am going
But I put on a mask to this world
And I wonder how long

How long do I hide
Beneath this flimsy facade
I’m longing for someone to see
What really lies beneath
And I wonder how long

What truths can be told
What secrets made known
I have nothing, nothing to hide
Yet somehow I cannot be free
And I wonder how long

God I want to be open
I want to be free
I don’t care what man knows
Cause I am living for you
And still I wonder how long

Cause always I have to hide
I constantly have to be on guard
I cannot just let go
I am chained inside
And I wonder how long

How long oh God how long?
I long for eternity with you
Where I won’t have to hide
You will break these chains
And I won’t have to wonder how long

Saturday, December 11, 2010

Wandering

Wandering, to and fro
Wandering up and down
Wandering here and there
Wandering through the town

I feel like I am wandering
Through this confusing existance
I don't know where I am going
Nothing I find makes sence
God I am looking to you
To find my lost heart
I am longing for you to find me
To keep me from falling apart

Wandering, to and fro
Wandering up and down
Wandering here and there
Wandering through the town

I don't know how to live
Live without compromise
I don't know how to give everything
I'm am feeling my demise
I want to surrender it all
But when I take up my cross
Instead of finding myself
All I feel is loss
I feel the pain inside
I don't know what to do
I don't know how to give
My whole heart to you

Wandering, to and fro
Wandering up and down
Wandering here and there
Wandering through the town

God, today I choose
To trust in your promises
Even though I am so lost
I believe you will heal my mess
I believe you will find
The lostness that I am
You will be here for me
And show me where I am

Saturday, December 4, 2010

Pilgrim

I am a pilgrim here
I am simply passing through
I wonder why I don’t belong
I don’t fit, no matter what I do

And I realize
It is not a surprise

Cause I am a pilgrim here
I am just passing through
This world is not my home
I am yearning for You

I am longing
My heart is searching

For the reality of my home
Nothing can compare
To knowing I belong
I can’t wait to be there

Cause I feel the hurting
My heart is throbbing

I am not made for this earth
I am simply passing through
I am created for eternity
I am made to be with You

I need the grace
To seek your face

To look forward to my home
I know that through the bitterness
You will bring forth springs
And wash away my loneliness

So in all I do
I look to you

You will be my strength
And give me autumn rain
You will bring forth pools
And carry me through my pain

Friday, December 3, 2010

The Battle

Light and Darkness
Wrestling, Fighting, Destroying
Darkness and Light
Pulling, Struggling, Combating
Pain against freedom
Life against death
Passion against apathy
Fighting to the last breath

What a horrible war
The pain is unbearable
What an awful fight
The darkness is terrible

How do I fight
With nothing left in me
How do I love
When hate is all I see
How do I keep passion
When somehow it simply dies
How do I get up again
When all I see are lies

This is a terrible battle
Of epic proportions
This is more than a war
Of powerful conclusions

So God I run to you
With my broken armour
With my tattered heart
I have nothing more
I run into your arms
I trust in your power
I come to your fortress
In this fateful hour

You are over this battle
You carry supremacy
You have ordained this war
To overcome the enemy  

So, I know I have to get up again
I know I still have to go back
But I believe you will give me strength
To fill in where I lack
I know I still have to fight
And the thought fills me with dread
But I believe in your power
And the words that you have said

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Remember, you reflect me

Worthless.
You are worthless, he says
Useless, insignificant, rubbish
He says

And she believes
Takes it all in
She believes every word
She is worthless
Useless, insignificant, rubbish

The words circling in her mind
It is the truth she says
And so she walks on
Useless, insignificant rubbish
Heavy words, slowing killing her spirit

She walks, head down
Shoulders slumped
Carrying the weight of these words
A burden far too heavy
For her slender shoulders

She makes her way down to the pond
The immensity weighing on her
One slow step at a time
Discouragement drowning her
As she murmurs under her breath

Useless, insignificant, rubbish
Round and round they go
Why not help this world
And remove from it
The useless, insignificant, rubbish

She comes upon the pond
Tears running down her cheeks
Looking into the water
She backs up slowly
Startled by what she sees

It is the face of Jesus
Looking back at her
Not her own reflection
Messed up lonely life
Instead she sees perfection

My daughter,
You reflect me
Don’t believe the lies
I have made you clean
Remember you reflect me

Useless, Insignificant, Rubbish
Where have those words gone
Somehow they suddenly vanished
They cannot describe Jesus
So have no place left to land

Remember you reflect me
Words circling in her mind
Joyfully walking
Head held high
Something changed inside

Remember you reflect me
What a refrain
Over and over in her mind
Useless, Insignificant, Rubbish
Gone forever

Remember you reflect me
Oh what a joyful sound
Remember you reflect me
Words so full of life
Remember you reflect me

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Hunger

So I have got to thinking…
Hunger, what does that word mean? Like what does it mean to be really hungry? Do we even understand what that word means? What is it like to be so desperate for food that you are willing to do absolutely anything? What is it like to know that if you don’t get food you will soon die? What is it like to be completely starving? Us people in America really have no idea what hunger is. I recently went on a week fast, and was I hungry? Absolutely YES! But I don’t think I even began to touch the surface of what real hunger is like. I don’t think I even began to start to understand what it was like to be starving. Start to think about it. What would it be like if you did not know where your next meal would come from, what would it be like if you knew that if you did not find something to eat soon, you would die?
            Now think of that in terms of hunger for God. Us American’s again have no idea what it is like to be hungry for God. Imagine the kind of desperation to know that you just need to have God as surely as you need your next breath. What would it be like to be truly hungry for God? What would it be like to have absolutely everything else in life fade away, become completely unimportant because all that you need, desperately NEED, is God? What would it be like to say with Paul “I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish that I may gain Christ.” Philippians 3:7,8. What would it be like to have a hunger for God so deep and so strong that it would overcome even a hunger for food? What would our lives look like if we no longer cared about this world, all we desperately needed and longed for was more of God? How would we live differently if we truly were hungry for God?
            So God, I pray for that kind of hunger. I pray that you would bless me with the desperation to search after you! I pray that you would come into my heart, and would transform the places where I am complacent, where I give in to compromise, where I give in to apathy. I know that it is only you who can cause me to be hungry! I cannot put that hunger inside of myself. I long for it though! I long for it with everything in me! I want to be hungry! I want to be desperate; I want to be consumed with a desire for you! A desire so strong that EVERYTHING else in this life will fade away. God I cry out for that hunger. You said blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness for they WILL be filled. Please come and consume me with a hunger for you!

Monday, November 29, 2010

I long to know you

God I come to you
I long to know you
I long to know you

Not just to know about you
Or the correct Theology
Not just to know the answers
To the deep questions asked
Or the problems of Philosophy

But I want to know you
I long to know you as a friend
To care about what you care about
To share secrets, to share dreams
To know a love that does not end

I long to know your heart
What it is that makes you cry
What makes you angry,
And what makes you sad
The love that made you die

I long to go beyond
A knowledge of your word
I long to hear the whisper
Of your voice in my heart
To know it’s you I heard

I long to be with you
You’re the yearning of my heart
I cry to be with you
To see your smile
I never want to be apart

I need to know that you are near
To hear your heartbeat too
To feel the warmth of your embrace
My heavenly Father,
I long to know you
I long to know you
I long to know you

Sunday, November 28, 2010

Dreams

Dreams, so perfect, so untouched
Dreams laying there in my heart
They lay so sweet, they lay so calm
Just leave them there and leave them be

Cause one day, if you are not careful
They will come, they will come
Not in a gentle way
Not the way you desire
But they will come

When they awake, they come
And they break your heart in two
They come and they destroy,
Like a wild hurricane with no control
They simply devastate your heart.

They come and mock
At what you thought could be
They come and destroy
And show you who you really are
The emptiness, the loneliness, the humanity

So leave them be,
Just laying in your heart,
Let them alone, and they will stay
So perfect, so untouched
Just laying there in my heart